Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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