belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
