Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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