In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
