If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
