I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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