Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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