Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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