i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
