Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
