If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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