he wants to bone in the snuggie
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
