we're blogging at a bar
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
