My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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