I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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