you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
