the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
