btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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