At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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