Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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