another moral hangover. fuck.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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