I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
