walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Pants are for mortals
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
