yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
