Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
