who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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