Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
