One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
