i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
