absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
