There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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