I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
