I feel great
I just peed on a car
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
