NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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