Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
