my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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