Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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