Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Randomize
