Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
