god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
false alarm. still invincible.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I came so hard my ears popped.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
