I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
