My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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