i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
