If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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