you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
