Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
