She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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