Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
