Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think a kid would responsible me up
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
