just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
