ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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