I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
