the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
