i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
