Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
