Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
