he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
